I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
