I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
