just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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