I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
