Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
