Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
