Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Are we still banned from the library?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
