just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
