I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
