he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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