This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
