Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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