last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
