thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
its liver damage thursday
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
