Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
