Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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