I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
