so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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