It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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