He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
