The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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