I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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