We're facebook friends in real life
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize