So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
that's an acceptable place to lick
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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