(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize