who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
