I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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