Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a hot homeless man
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
