just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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