Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
