If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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