Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
