no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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