I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize