im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
