I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
