my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
