I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
