the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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