just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
