she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Soap is not a condiment
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize