Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize