there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
