Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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