Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
