From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize