I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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