to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize