i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just invented taco cereal.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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