I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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