I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
