put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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