Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize