the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
