i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize