So drunk, too bad you don't want this
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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