Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
