your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
