A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want nice things and good sex
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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