In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
