I wish I could punch you in the face.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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