WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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