Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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