i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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