Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
